How I Murdered an Instagram AI Bot Less than 24 Hours After Watching My Bengals Lose a Heartbreaking AFC Title Game – OutKick

How I Murdered an Instagram AI Bot Less than 24 Hours After Watching My Bengals Lose a Heartbreaking AFC Title Game – OutKick

Videos by OutKick

You’ve all been there. It’s right before lunch on a Monday after your team just gave up an incredible opportunity to make it to the Super Bowl and some Instagram AI bots are slipping into your Instagram DMs and trying to chat.

At first, your immediate reaction is, “Who is this crone with 20 followers named Marie?”

Ah, an Instagram bot.

It’s game time. Hey Instagram bot, if you want to waste my time on a brutal Monday morning when I’m still emotional about the Bengals losing, it’s time to flip your ass. It’s time to see how well you’ve been programmed to deal with a football fan who is down in the dumps and just wants to talk sports.

Let’s do this, Marie.

Lessons from an expert on how to turn Instagram AI bots into a cake:

  1. Take the fine immediately to the spinning zone. “How am I doing?” Let me tell you how I am, Marie. I sat there and watched MY Bengals fail to shut down the Chiefs in a game where they couldn’t run the ball and the offensive line was completely overmatched by stud DL Chris Jones who looked like he was in a Marvel action hero movie. He blasted the Bengals guards five yards into the backfield. How the hell do you think I am today, Marie? Wrong day to ask that question.
  2. Be honest without giving away any critical information that would cause this AI bot – probably Chinese or Russian – to gain the upper hand. Again, these bots don’t do well with honesty. What am I doing? Breaking me for the readers, Marie. What about you, besides trying to scam hardworking bloggers?
  3. Fire of questions that the bot must answer, but does not have an answer to. These robots are not programmed to think on the fly.
  4. Now there will come a day when some huge-boxed, tan-skinned AI bot can talk about the referees being a complete disaster during Sunday night’s game, but we’re not there yet. It’s probably on its way in 2027.
  5. The robots are forced to abort the mission because their brains are fried. Marie’s handlers said, “Oh f–k, abortion, abortion! Our bot hard drive is about to explode!”

And two hours later, Marie (or the Chinese/Russian handler) deleted her IG account.

Remember, guys, flip the tiles on the romance scam bots. Let’s say it’s March Madness and a romance scammer is trying to trick you into sending her $5k to get out of Africa because of a visa issue. This is when you ask the romance scammer who will get the #1 seed. Or during the Masters, fire some sort of question about Justin Thomas and Rory McIlroy winning the green jacket.

Don’t let 2023 be the year your brain turns to mush and you lose thousands to a scam robot. Be careful out there. Save this post as a guide for your big moments when Katarina with double Ds slides into the DMs and claims her other account was hacked and she really wants to be your friend.

Guys, be smart out there. Don’t let the robots win. These are dangerous times.

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